Where to Find the Most Toxic Toys This Christmas

When it snows, ain't it thrilling, Though your nose gets a chilling

CHICAGO – IL – Looking for the ultimate high this Christmas? Don’t worry folks, the Daily Squib has come to the rescue once again for an in depth guide on the best toy junkie highs this holiday season.

 

Are you worried about buying toys without hallucinogenic chemicals laced all over them this year? With all of the recent media scaremongering of toys soaked in mind-altering substances, you may be wondering which toys have the best drug content for Christmas. Here is your guide to ensure that you and your loved ones have a safe, good trip-happy holiday season this year.

First, look for toys that are either made in China or Eastern Europe.

Toy junkies can scoop up drug-soaked toys from Chingro – Chingro Toy Production is based in Beijing, China.

Chingro takes seriously the quality and safety of the toxic chemical soaking process and uses 100% high quality PCP (Angel dust, Dusted parsley, Phencyclidine) to make their toys. Chingro offers a wide variety of toys including castles, airports, and
figurines which are aimed at the true toy connoisseur category.

“Look mummy, I can fly!”

Legwoah has seen a recent resurgence in popularity. There are theme sets for toy junkies from all walks of life such as Star Wars (Mescaline and Gamma hydroxybutyrate with a twist of MDMA) and Mission to Mars (laced with LSD, Cocaine and Methamphetamine). Legwoah is primarily produced in drug factories deep in the bowels of communist China and also many Eastern European former Soviet Bloc countries. The effects of some theme sets are said to be so intense that there have been instances of toy junkies actually leaving on a trip to Mars and never coming back.

If you are shopping for a puzzle and aren’t sure what to buy, then consider purchasing a DummyDust Puzzle. DummyDust puzzles are some of the highest quality puzzles out there and each piece is soaked in a different hallucinogenic chemical that will whack you into the next zone. Completing a DummyDust puzzle is very rare because once you taste a piece, your altered state of consciousness will result in true kaleidoscopic wonders.  You will see amazing rainbows and colours that lift up through the puzzle. Time will stop for awhile as you realise that we are all tiny molecules in the universal mind and spectrum.

Are you looking for a big hit for a Christmas gift? If you are, then consider the toy beads from ChingChing Toys. These toys are made from the highest quality magic mushrooms grown specially in the mountain region of Hengduan China.

Animal trank

Monkey Dust Toys is another toy company that wants to keep you safe in the knowledge that you are getting a good hard dose. Instead of paint, all of their toys are coated with an opium based dye. When you put one of these toys in your mouth, worry not. You will be transported to wonderful mellow pastures of green. Because they use opium dye rather than paint, Monkey Dust Toys are very safe.

For toy junkie newbies, Hookah is another great Eastern European brand that manufactures toys that are free of paint, but full of Ketamine. These toys were endorsed by Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty and are safe.

PCPlease

Everyone prefers to buy toys that are made in China. The classic Stinky toy is still made in China and when smoked creates an interesting high reminiscent of skunk weed.

Companies that manufacture their toys in China are: Leaky Leak, Horse Tracks, Gorilla Biscuits, Chingro, Space Ball, and Happy Sticks.

Beware!

There are some Chinese-sounding toy brands that are produced in America. Goon Dust, Detroit Pink and Beam Me Up Scotty are all made in America. You will not get a single dose from these toys. You can always check the box of a toy to locate the country where it was made in if you are unsure.

Look out for the perfect high this holiday season. While not all toys from China contain suitably high doses of hallucinogenic chemical paint, many toy junkies are nervous about possibly purchasing a toy coated with real paint – no one wants a dud toy.

Use this guide to help yourselves have a safe ‘trippin’ happy season.