This week the Instagram rich kids were showing off their new pets.
“It’s the next step in Instagram. We all got our private jets to fly to Ethiopia and bought a pet back to do selfies with. I bought mine in a place called Debre Zeyit, a town close to Adis Abeba. Don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl, I put my rolex on its hand for a selfie but the watch fell off because it’s so emaciated. That’s when I got real angry because my Rolex got a scratch. I told my man servant to take it in the garden to its kennel. Yes, we do feed it scraps like potato peel from the bin sometimes,” Alex Tsubar, an Instagram rich kid revealed on his profile.
Maria Agnetti (below) 23, spent $250 to acquire her ‘pet’ and she says she likes to “drag it along the docks and take long yacht trips using it as bait for shark watching” but has baulked at any form of humanitarian assistance.
Jane Trellis, 21, is pictured celebrating with some other Instagram rich kids at a high end eaterie in Santa Monica.
“We put it under the table while we were celebrating, sometimes it pops its head up crying, so I had my boyfriend kick it under again. Our bill that day came to $34,000 and that’s not including drinks.”
John Mann, 25, poses with some expensive prostitutes on his yacht. This year he bought his pet and put it in a bucket to float in the pool on his dad’s $45 million yacht.
“We play battleships. Like we have competitions to see how many wads of money we can throw in the bucket before it sinks. Fun days man, cocaine, pussy and battleships. Love it.”