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Portugal Will Raid Banks Like Cyprus

LISBON - Portugal - If you have not taken your money out of Portugal or sold up, it could be too late already an EU crisis policy worker has warned. ... Full story

Finance Experts: Cypriot Rejection of Bank Levy Means Bank Depositors Could Lose Everything

LIMASSOL - Cyprus - By defying the EU and reneging on their promises to pay back the ECB, the bankrupt banks may never open again leaving depositors high and dry, EU finance experts have revealed. ... Full story

Could Cyprus Be End of Eurozone?

NICOSIA - Cyprus - Many civilisations have passed through this tumultuous tiny crop of land over history. Could this small rock in the Mediterranean be the final death knell for the EU's ill fated euro monetary project? ... Full story

Mervyn King: "Economic Recovery in Sight"

LONDON - England - Governor Sir Mervyn King has proclaimed that economic recovery is in sight in the UK. ... Full story

Cameron: "Destruction of the Pound Nearly Complete"

LONDON - England - The Prime Minister has lauded the destruction of the pound sterling currency after its value has fallen to its lowest levels yet. ... Full story

Tips For UK Savers Dealing With a Negative Banking Base Rate

LONDON - England - The Bank of England is planning a negative base rate of minus 8% so if you put your money in the bank and don't touch it, it will disappear soon enough. Here are some tips for the much bedraggled and beaten down saver to avoid this banking calamity. ... Full story

George Osborne: "Next Stop Quadruple Dip"

LONDON - England - The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, is delighted to inform the British people that he intends to go for a quadruple dip recession after this triple dip one we're all about to go through. ... Full story

Farewell AAA and Hello B Minus For UK

LONDON - England - George Osborne and David Cameron were sobbing into their tax receipts tonight as Moody's took away Britain's AAA rating. ... Full story

Stocks Surge By 0.003% Again

NEW YORK - USA - Stocks were up 0.003% this morning after an incredible rise of 0.002% yesterday and by 2pm they were down slightly by 0.0001%. ... Full story

George Osborne: "Would You Like a Triple Dip With That Great Depression?"

DAVOS - Switzerland - Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne is to start the Treasury's own chain of restaurants across the UK his office has announced. ... Full story

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