Sell, Sell, Sell!!!

Please don't PANIC!

WASHINGTON D.C. – USA – Buy and hold may have been a great strategy during the tiny recession of 2008 onwards, but if you haven't sold already you better get selling say stock and bonds experts.

“So what if Buffet made $15 billion during the recession. He better get selling too, unload as much as you can, the artificially inflated market ain’t going to be much soon. You don’t want to be holding anything when the S&P is at 120,” Marty Rich, a trading expert told Bloomberg news yesterday.

Another investment expert told news crews outside Wall Street: “You don’t want to get caught holding stock when this thing blows. Treasuries are going to zero too as well as the dollar and we’re going to see a huge loss of liquidity and spike in interest rates. The dip in 2008 was like a minor blip, no one learned their lesson and the economy is actually in worse shape now than it was pre-Lehman. Sell, sell, sell! But please don’t panic, aaargh, aaargh, sell, sell, sell! Achtung! S.O.S! HELP!!!!”

Finance experts are also warning not to keep money in the bank either because when they go down, there will be no access to it, as well as the currency being pretty much worthless anyway.