Bernanke Speaks VIX Peaks

WASHINGTON DC – USA – Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke has been spinning his magic again as the Fear Index rose by 25% today and the Dow dipped by about 450 points.

“Short everything Bernanke just hit the mic,” a Wall Street trader shouted from the pits yesterday.

What is it with Bernanke one minute they’re telling you everything is great and everyone should pile into the stock market and next the bottom falls out?” a disgruntled investor said nursing a headache and a seriously depleted portfolio.

Another panicking investor remarked: “The end of QE means the end of easy money for the bankers, because they’re the only ones who benefit from it. No one else does.”