Happy New Fiscal Cliff Year 2013

WASHINGTON DC – USA – Brace for impact! It’s going to be a bumper year in 2013 thanks to the morons in the U.S. Congress who couldn’t come up with a Fiscal Cliff deal before January 1st 2013.

“His people said no, our people said something, maybe it was no, or was it undecided, and those people over there in the corner, I don’t even know who they are, said no too. So we got a lot of no votes, no yes votes and a shit load of no-noes,” Senator James Jenkem, told CNN today after everyone went home.

When America sneezes…

The consequences of the no votes on the stock market tomorrow will be a serious no no, and a major rollercoaster ride for everyone — not just the American markets.

“Let’s just say that you can kiss your pension plan goodbye tomorrow. Happy New Year by the way,” a GOP senator told reporters outside Congress today. Naturally, the negotiations are all about getting a deal at the last moment and propelling the stock markets up when a fragile deal is eventually done.

Another Congressman who was at the Fiscal Cliff hearing meetings said: “Even if the U.S. government were to confiscate the riches and equity of every person in America tomorrow, the interest on America’s debts would not be able to be paid — let alone 0.1% of the actual U.S. debt.”

Happy f*cking New Year!