Happy New Fiscal Cliff Year 2013

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Brace for impact! It's going to be a bumper year in 2013 thanks to the morons in the U.S. Congress who couldn't come up with a Fiscal Cliff deal before January 1st 2013.

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“His people said no, our people said something, maybe it was no, or was it undecided, and those people over there in the corner, I don’t even know who they are, said no too. So we got a lot of no votes, no yes votes and a shit load of no-noes,” Senator James Jenkem, told CNN today after everyone went home.

When America sneezes…

The consequences of the no votes on the stock market tomorrow will be a serious no no, and a major rollercoaster ride for everyone — not just the American markets.

“Let’s just say that you can kiss your pension plan goodbye tomorrow. Happy New Year by the way,” a GOP senator told reporters outside Congress today. Naturally, the negotiations are all about getting a deal at the last moment and propelling the stock markets up when a fragile deal is eventually done.

Another Congressman who was at the Fiscal Cliff hearing meetings said: “Even if the U.S. government were to confiscate the riches and equity of every person in America tomorrow, the interest on America’s debts would not be able to be paid — let alone 0.1% of the actual U.S. debt.”

Happy f*cking New Year!