Credit Crunch II Coming to a Cinema Near You

"Bugger me, did I just see $2 billion worth of my money just disappear? Oh well, at least I've got my goat herding job to fall back on eh."

DUBAI – United Arab Emirates – It is set to be this year's major blockbuster and will hit our screens after Christmas — Credit Crunch II, bigger and deeper than the first film in the franchise.

Directed by little known director, Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al-Maktoum, and starring a plethora of Western sports stars, the latest offering in the Credit Crunch series is set to be a real banking heist.

“This movie is going to be bigger and a lot deeper than the first one. You’re going to see the QE2 ship going down, demolitions of very high buildings and some incredible sand storm footage. If you watched 2012 recently, that was nothing, Credit Crunch II is going to make that pale into insignificance,” the director of the film told the Dubai Times yesterday.

The film will be released in the UK after Christmas, but all the cinemas will probably be out of business by then so who f*cking cares anyway.

  • Rire

    In that film Gordo will have a role. It may be a principal role. As those oil magnates wear flowing gowns, in such windy seasons, Gordo will have the job of pulling them down whenever they get lifted up. It is widely thought that, if he does well there, Tony Blair will put in a good word for him to get a goat herding job too. There won’t be much interest in the lecture tours as the stock of surprises get exhausted in the Chilcot Inquiry. Cruel fate! But he might just be lucky in that part of the world to find someone who knows how to remove a jinx.