17.7 C
London
Thursday, March 28, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusinessInvestors Urged to Keep Buying More Stocks

Investors Urged to Keep Buying More Stocks

NEW YORK - USA - Retail investors are being urged to keep buying stocks so that large institutions can unload as much as they can.

buy squib book

“We got some real bargains here. We need retail investors to buy as much as they can. Re-mortgage the house, liquidate the college fund, sell your goddam wife if you have to. Just keep buying stocks because if you don’t, who the hell are we going to sell them to?” a panicked hedge fund manager for Barnes Mathers Funds told Business Week.

One private investor is buying up stocks like nobodies business, Arnie Schintz, 48, from New York is a dentist with cash to spend.

“I get calls every day telling me to buy, so I do. I have so much spare money that I don’t know what to do with it. The brokers keep telling me the market is going to shoot up and I should fill my boots with as much stock as I can manage and then some. Wow, I can’t wait till the market goes up again, they keep telling me it’s the bottom of the market, I’m going to be rich beyond my wildest dreams and there is nothing to worry about. I trust these guys.”

Goldman Sachs is also telling its clients to buy, buy, buy. Definitely advice that is as good as a bar of pure gold.

So, what investments are hot at the moment? Pretty much anything in the tech industry is a buy, just pick any stock whilst blindfolded then press the trigger, you’re good to go.

Don’t forget though, stocks only go up and there is little or no risk of the Dow, NASDAQ or S&P dropping by 90% in the next month.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »