ATHENS – Greece – Celebrations have started all over the country because the free EU money tranche is starting again.
EU taxpayers have been solidly shafted by the Greeks once again as weak bureaucrats capitulated to another free money gift to Greece.
On top of the 350 Billion debt already owed, another 86 Billion euros will be released on Thursday to great fanfare.
“We did it again, and in two months time we will rinse and repeat, and so on, ad infinitum. Shit, it beats working for a living,” a jubilant Greek Syriza minister told local news.
Taxpayers within the EU have been told by their respective governments to work harder to provide for the Greek permanent holiday.
“You must work longer hours on less pay so that you can provide free money to Greece. Remember that Greeks retire at 45 on full pensions, whereas in Northern Europe people work to 65 and beyond. We are changing the system now so you won’t retire at all, just work until you drop dead. Remember, it is for a good cause, the Greeks deserve to live a privileged lifestyle off your dumb back because they do not pay tax, but you do. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, because you’re a coward, a spineless pleb,” an EU announcement to European countries broadcast on all networks yesterday.
All across Greece there were cheers of delight as the free money train resumed its inevitable journey.
“I’ve had seven holidays this year, and I was worried I might have to curtail the eighth but thanks to the EU I am now packing my bags again. This time I’m off to the Bahamas for a six week all expenses paid holiday thanks to EU taxpayers. I have also bought another Porsche and Ferrari. Thank you you filthy malakas, ha hah!” Nikos Katsamounaras, a Greek farmer told the Kathemirini newspaper.
As another 86 Billion euros is delivered to Greece, massive capital flight is also resuming.
“We’re poor, because our money is in Switzerland, Cayman islands and all sorts of places away from prying eyes. When they make these EU money deliveries, top boys have first pick, the money is then quickly removed from Greece and into our bank accounts abroad. Of course, we are poor in Greece, and you will see that when we ask for bailout five, six, seven and eight,” another celebratory Greek told local news stations.
Luxury car sales have spiked on the news of more money being released by the EU, and in one town a man was cheered as he drove down the main street in his new top of the range Mercedes whilst being registered blind, a useful trick if you want to receive extra money for disabilities from the EU.
Greece has done it again. One can feel the palpable excitement emanating from a place with joyous abandon and celebratory gusto.
“Look at the streets here, we are crying with joy. EU free money train is back. We got them by the balls, eh is that right Schaubles, we got you by the Goebels, you tried to stop the money, but we’re getting more free stuff. Who says socialism does not work? It works very well. Germany Nil Greece 5, that’s the final score. Germans got fucked!” a cheering man shouted, and shouted during another dizzying celebration in Athens.