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Merkel to Star in My Big Fat Greek Debt II
ATHENS - Greece - German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, is set to become a film star in the latest version of blockbuster 'My Big Fat Greek Debt II'. ... Full story
Gay U.S. Marines Fancy Taliban Fighters
KABUL - Afghanistan - Openly gay US marines are so infatuated by the Taliban that they are even compiling websites and posters of their favourite fighters. ... Full story
American Who Seeks Compensation Payout From Himself Could Be Sued Again
NEW YORK - USA - An American man is seeking to win a multi-million dollar lawsuit against himself after his bid for compensation failed. ... Full story
Occupy Movement Was Doomed to Fail From Beginning
LONDON - England - There can never be a revolution from the minority. This is why the Occupy Movements in Britain and America were doomed to failure. ... Full story
Think Tank: UK Benefits System Cause of Britain's Ruin
LONDON - England - An independent think tank has released a report detailing how Britain's welfare benefits system which costs the taxpayer trillions of pounds is sucking the country into a Great Depression. ... Full story
Adam Sandler to Star In Every Hollywood Movie For the Next Thirty Years
LOS ANGELES - USA - Every person's nightmare could very well come true if a new production deal is finalised by midnight tomorrow by all of Hollywood's studios. ... Full story
How to Win Hearts and Minds the American Way
BAGRAM - Afghanistan - An American General has written an in depth analysis about the US campaign to win the hearts and mind of Afghans. ... Full story
New Sun on Sunday Journalists Seen Arriving at Wapping
WAPPING - London - Rupert Murdoch has personally flown over to the UK to oversee his latest pet project, the new Sun on Sunday newspaper . ... Full story
Lord Lucan Adopted By Madonna in Africa
LIBREVILLE - Gabon - The famous fugitive, Lord Lucan, who fled to Africa shortly after disappearing in mysterious circumstances in 1974, has been found and adopted by the pop artist Madonna sources have revealed. ... Full story
God: "I Can't Be Sure Richard Dawkins Does Not Exist"
OXFORD - England - He is regarded as the most famous entity in the universe but last night God admitted he could not be sure that Professor Richard Dawkins does not exist. ... Full story
Santorum Visits Sanitarium
COOKSVILLE - USA - Republican hopeful Rick Santorum today visited a sanitarium on the outskirts of one of the towns on his campaign trail but after entering was told he cannot leave. ... Full story
Charity Chuggers vs Banking Buggers on Britain's High Streets
LONDON - England - Charity mugger chuggers are chunts but now they have some stiff competition on Britain's High Streets as thousands of banking buggers are stalking you to brutally relinquish your pockets of their precious pennies. ... Full story
Osborne Wants to Introduce Tax on Austerity
LONDON - England - The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, wants to introduce a taxation on his austerity drive, he announced today in parliament. ... Full story
Dutch Scientists Create Artificial Meat But Fast Food Joints Say They Created it First
MAASTRICHT - Netherlands - Dutch scientists claim to have grown artificial meat in a test tube for the very first time, but fast food restaurants say they have been doing it for years. ... Full story
New Tesco Value Jobseeker's Allowance is Bestseller
CHESHUNT - England - The Tesco Value Brand has a new product that is flying off the shelves, especially for unemployed Britons all over the country. ... Full story
Sean Penn Wants U.S. to Give Hawaii Back to Polynesians
LOS ANGELES - USA - Activist actor, Sean Penn, wants to use his $150 million personal fortune to give back Hawaii to the indigenous populations. ... Full story
Obama: "Why American Civilians Should Not Be Armed"
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The time has come for Americans to finally grow out of their obsession with firearms, and Obama's second term will ensure that he completes his mission to disarm America and make it into a 'safer' place. ... Full story
Argentine President Kirchner Wants to Make Falkland Islands Into Plastic Surgery Centre
BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, Argentina's president, is so addicted to plastic surgery and botox treatments that the Falkland Islands are in danger of being made into an Argentinian plastic surgery centre. ... Full story
Henry Kissinger to Get Job Writing For Daily Squib
LONDON - England - Former Nixon-era Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, is dropping everything in his Connecticut ranch to fly over to Britain and start a new life as a writer on our illustrious paper. ... Full story
New Four Year Degree Course on 'Crushing Student Debt'
LEEDS - England - The latest degree course that is proving increasingly popular with students is the four year 'Student Debt' course at the University of Dolequeue. ... Full story
India to Give Britain Financial Aid
NEW DELHI - India - The Indian finance minister, Pranab Mukherjee, has revealed that his country will give aid to the UK for the very first time in the country's history. ... Full story
Bigfoot Only Has One Foot Witness Claims
BLUFFS CREEK - USA - Ecologist and witness to Bigfoot, Robert Ortega, claims that he witnessed Bigfoot hopping through some undergrowth while he was conducting research for another project. ... Full story
Scientists Unveil New 'Debt Go Away' Pill
ROTTERDAM - Netherlands - Scientists at the Van Der Sar Institute have revealed the new pill which they claim takes away people's debt in one fell swoop. ... Full story
Cameron Wants to Incorporate National Hug a Banker Day
LONDON - England - David Cameron has defended his call for more understanding of why bankers commit banking - and rejected suggestions he wants people to "hug a banker". ... Full story
New House of Commons Beer More Acceptable
LONDON - England - Radical feminists in the House of Commons, headed by Labour MP Kate Green, have proclaimed a victory resulting in the demise of the much appreciated Top Totty beer with a new replacement that is more pleasing to the humourless feministas who have campaigned against it. ... Full story
Religious Cult Member Could Be Next President of the United States
UTAH - USA - One day, Americans could wake up with a member from a religious cult as their president, constitutional experts have warned. ... Full story