dailouk
Kabul Surrenders as Americans Evacuated
KABUL - Afghanistan - The Afghan war ended today as the government announced its unconditional surrender to Taliban forces. ... Full story
Johann Hari Coming to Work For Daily Squib
LONDON - England - Award winning journalist, Johann Hari, has accepted a job offer for the Daily Squib, our editor in chief has finally announced. ... Full story
Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin to Have Bikini Fight to Settle Leadership Contest
ALABAMA - USA - In a long standing feud between the two GOP Tea Party members, Sarah Palin and three-term Minnesota congresswoman, Michelle Bachmann, will duke it out in a mud pit in front of hundreds of Tea Party members and a national TV audience. ... Full story
Michelle Obama Meets Her Long Lost Uncle
GABORONE - Botswana - First Lady, Michelle Obama was delighted yesterday with a wonderful surprise when her long lost uncle, Letsego Ogunanga, from the Bamangwato tribe came to meet her at the airport. ... Full story
Dam Busters Dog Renamed ‘Wigger’ and to be Sprayed White
LONDON - England - The re-makers of the famous Dam Busters film have come up with a solution to the problem of renaming the dog. ... Full story
TSA Plans Screening Americans in their Homes
MILWAUKEE - USA - Think you could avoid the TSA's body scanners and pat-downs by not flying, taking the train or bus, then you're wrong. The TSA wants to come to your home to complete searches on U.S. citizens even if you do not use any public transport. ... Full story
New Jackass 4D Movie Way Too Realistic Say Audience
LOS ANGELES - USA - The latest installment of the Jackass franchise movies is said to be so realistic that some cinemagoers are actually afraid to attend theatres where the film is being shown. ... Full story
Greece Needs Yearly Bailouts
ATHENS - Greece - The new Greek Finance Minister, Evangelos Venizelos, has told the EU and Britain that they expect a bailout every year as long as they're in the eurozone. ... Full story
Winehouse 'Sings' on Stage
BELGRADE - Serbia - Concert-goers were wowed yesterday when pop singer Amy Winehouse actually sang on stage. ... Full story
Iran to Send Monkey into Space
TEHRAN - Iran - President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has unveiled a space capsule which will carry him into space, along with four new prototypes of home-built satellites the country hopes to launch before March 2012. ... Full story
Weiner to Star in P0rn Films
NEW YORK - USA - Disgraced congressman, Anthony Weiner, who resigned today, has already got a new job, his agent has revealed. ... Full story
Greeks Told to Pay Tax
ATHENS - Greece - The Greek government is trying to recover billions of euros lost to tax evasion as part of its austerity programme but millions of Greeks see it as their right not to pay any tax. ... Full story
Government Takes U-Turn into Cul-De-Sac
LONDON - England - David Cameron's socialist coalition government has taken another U-turn but this time it's stuck in a cul-de-sac. ... Full story
Those Sarah Palin Emails Again
WASILLA - USA - The Daily Squib reveals some of the best lines from the release of 24,000 pages of Sarah Palin's private emails. ... Full story
Apple iCloud Starts Raining
CUPERTINO - USA - They say it doesn't just rain, it pours, or something to that effect. Well, in Apple's case, it's been raining buckets out of a cloud perched just above its head quarters. ... Full story
U.S. Flash Mob Robbery Trend Set to Cross Atlantic
FLORIDA - USA - A new trend sweeping America is now set to cross the Atlantic to Britain, crime analysts have revealed. ... Full story
Bedouins Seen in East Anglia
EAST ANGLIA - England - The driest May in 100 years has forced the Environment Agency (EA) to declare that the majority of eastern England is officially now a desert. ... Full story
Facebook Wants Every User Fingerprinted
PALO ALTO - USA - Social surveillance website, Facebook is ordering every one of its 700 million users to be fingerprinted. ... Full story
Palace Aides Shocked After Kate Middleton Brings Jellied Eel Dish to Palace
LONDON - England - Kensington Palace senior staff have been left with red faces after newly wed Kate Middleton brought a bucket of jellied eels to a palace function earlier on in the month. ... Full story
George Osborne's Plan B
TROPICAL ISLAND - The Caribbean - The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne's octopus grip over the UK's economy tightened yesterday after he received confirmation of his taxing practices from the IMF. ... Full story
Could You be Killing the Planet One Breath at a Time?
ONTARIO - Canada - Eco Fascism is alive and well, and the plan the many organisations around the world are proposing for the human population is not a very savoury one. ... Full story
German Bombers Dropping Bean Sprouts Over London
LONDON - England - Londoners were embracing the blitz spirit tonight after the German Luftwaffe debuted their latest weapon against our proud nation. ... Full story
Obama: "Hey, At least I Still Have My Job"
WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama has made a speech on the eve after a new jobs report was released showing that many Americans are still unemployed. ... Full story
Planking Craze Thwarted by Actors Hugh Grant and Kevin Costner
LONDON - England - The planking craze which has taken over the world's youth on the internet(s) has been thwarted by the likes of actors like Hugh Grant and Kevin Costner. ... Full story
Grim Reaper Dies Before Keith Richards
RIVER STYX - Limbo - The Grim Reaper, otherwise known as Death, has passed away before rocker Keith Richards, according to sources close to the entity in Hades. ... Full story
EU Orders Greece Name Change
BRUSSELS - Belgium - The head of the EU's Central Bank, Jean-Claude Trichet, has ordered that Greece forfeits their name as well as their sovereign status. ... Full story
Judge Gives Himself Gagging Order
LONDON - England - An unnamed High Court judge has given himself a super-injunction gagging order, secret papers have revealed. ... Full story
Arnie Likes 'Ugly Chicks'
LOS ANGELES - USA - According to a new dossier released by a Beverly Hills court, movie star and serial philanderer, Arnold Schwarzenegger likes to cohabit with ugly women. ... Full story