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Scientists Prove That All Religious Books Are Man-Made Nonsense
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Scientists at the Institute of Historical Research have finally released their findings after five years of dedicated research. ... Full story
Secret Papers Reveal How Thatcher Cabinet Would Regularly Dress Up As Scousers
LONDON - England - National Archive papers released today show Margaret Thatcher and her cabinet would have scouser fancy dress days in 1981. ... Full story
How Long Before the EU Concentration Camp Chimneys Start Churning Smoke Again?
BRUSSELS - Belgium - The new EU Treaty that has been agreed by France and Germany and the rest of the inconsequential group of former European nations is a sign of things to come in the near future. ... Full story
Oxford Street End of Year Stabbing Sale Goes Well
LONDON - England - The biggest Boxing Day stabbing sales frenzy in British history was marked with only thirty four stabbings yesterday as numerous bargain hunters were murdered in Oxford Street. ... Full story
Tube Drivers Demand Chauffeur Driven Limousines
LONDON - England - Tube drivers are threatening to strike again for the third time this month after demanding a new raft of working condition improvements and pay increases. ... Full story
Michelle Obama Throws Punches Over New Air Jordans
PINEVILLE - USA - Before jetting off on a taxpayer funded $5 million 17 day Christmas vacation, Mrs Obama stopped off to get some high demand sneakers and got into a pre-Christmas brawl. ... Full story
Argies Think It's 1982 All Over Again
BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - The Argentinian government has obviously got a short memory because they seem to have forgotten the massive whacking they got from Britain the last time they tried their hand at invading the Falkland Islands. ... Full story
Italian Scientists: "Jesus Looked Like a Medieval European Man"
TURIN - Italy - Scientists sponsored by the Roman Catholic Church have revealed new fascinating facts that Jesus looked exactly like a medieval artist's depiction of a European man during the Middle Ages. ... Full story
No The Daily Squib Will Not Open an Office in North Korea
PYONGYANG - North Korea - There were scenes of mass hysteria and lamentation on Monday as millions of North Koreans openly wept in public at the terrible news that there will not be any Daily Squib offices or publications in their country in the foreseeable future. ... Full story
Americans Leave Iraq After Using Up All the Oil
BAGHDAD - Iraq - The Americans are leaving the country they invaded eight years ago after using up all the oil and resources, a US official has admitted. ... Full story
British Gastronomy Stays AAA When French Food Now AA
LONDON - England - The French were spitting mad yesterday when their entire gourmet cuisine was downgraded to AA from a previous high of AAA, by the International Gastronomy Institute in Lyons, France. ... Full story
ECB to Start Printing Money Tomorrow
FRANKFURT - Germany - In an astonishing about turn, Chancellor Merkel has instructed the European Central Bank to start printing money to purchase Euro bonds tomorrow. ... Full story
Hague to Hold Fiscal Euro Meeting in Brussels Hotel Room
BRUSSELS - Belgium - Foreign Secretary, William Hague, is eager to spend next weekend thrashing out a solution to the EU with some young Euro politicians in a hotel room. ... Full story
Nick Clegg Fails UK Citizenship Test Could Be Deported
LONDON - England - Deputy prime minister, Nick Clegg, has failed his UK Citizenship Test for the third time and will be removed from the UK, border control officials have revealed. ... Full story
Sarkozy Shows Off His New Hat
BRUSSELS - Belgium - The French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, showed off his new hat yesterday on the eve of a historic EU treaty. ... Full story
Newt Gingrich Opens New Jersey Maggot Farm
NEW JERSEY - USA - Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich, who was on a campaigning visit from Arkansas, opened the new maggot farm whilst visiting New York state. ... Full story
Occupy Movement Results in Huge Increases of Tent Sales
NEW YORK - USA - The Occupy movement that has encamped in major cities across the globe has given a huge boost to lagging tent and camping gear sales. ... Full story
Sally Bercow Now Living in Caravan After Leaving Husband For Gypsy
ESSEX - England - The House of Commons speaker's wife, Sally Bercow has been living on the filthy caravan site for the past two weeks, and she says she is loving her newly found freedom. ... Full story
Clarkson Sentenced to Death by BBC Firing Squad
LONDON - England - Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson has been sentenced to death by a BBC sponsored vote and will be executed first thing on Monday morning. ... Full story
Gay Sharks Cruising World's Oceans
FLORIDA - USA - Marine biologists have been baffled at the major increase in numbers of gay sharks around the world's oceans, and scientific data suggests that gay sharks are just as dangerous as straight ones. ... Full story