dailouk

England's cricket team celebrate their 'win'.

Massive Investigation After England Wins a Cricket Match

LONDON - England - Lords cricket ground was at the centre of a massive investigation by the International Cricket Council after the England team's spectacular win yesterday. ... Full story

Bon Appétit..

Coventry Chinese Restaurant Employs Cat Napper Mary Bale

COVENTRY - England - She may have lost her job as a bank clerk and is now one of the most reviled women in the UK, but at least Mary Bale has one champion who wants to employ her services. ... Full story

The fact that Mr Bush cannot read or write has not held him back with his memoirs.

Bush Returns to Arena With Six-Figure Memoir Book Deal

TEXAS - USA - George W. Bush returns to the public arena since leaving office 19 months ago with a memoir and some words of wisdom for those who buy the tell-all book. ... Full story

Miaaaaaaw!

Could This be the New SuBo?

COVENTRY - England - Britain's Got Talent judges and the British public have been astounded by the latest piece of massive talent to come out of our great nation -- Mary Bale. ... Full story

The pop singer George Michael has spoken of his delight at being told he will go to prison after he admitted crashing his Range Rover into a shop while under the influence of cannabis.

George Michael Looking Forward to Jail

LONDON - England - Pop singer George Michael has revealed his joy at the prospect of being sent to jail for reckless driving while under the influence of drugs. ... Full story

Mali principii malus finis

Tony Blair Book Bestseller in Iraq

BAGHDAD - Iraq - Former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, made a surprise visit to the war-torn capital city today to attend a much appreciated book signing. ... Full story

After the 'textbook case' of suicide, the 'textbook case' of 'cleaning up' the 'suicide' ensued

Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly's Death 'Textbook Suicide'

LONDON - England - The untimely death of Iraq weapons expert, David Kelly, was a "textbook case" of suicide, according to the government appointed pathologist who performed the post-mortem examination. ... Full story

The White House, as seen last week before completion of the new Islamic additions

Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama is having the White House redecorated to suit his tastes better whilst he and his family enjoy their sixth vacation in four months. ... Full story

Recently graduated university students join the dole queue

Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'

NEWCASTLE - England - Universities will be forced to give compulsory courses to all students in unemployment studies says the chief coalition education Tsar, Joe Bless. ... Full story

It beggars belief..

It Beggars Belief: How the Fake Politicians are Raking in More Than £200,000 a Year

WESTMINSTER - England - Their apparently pitiful existence and pleas for money attract the generosity of many taxpayers. But some politicians are making the equivalent of a £200,000-a-year salary, police have revealed. ... Full story

The increase in minutes in the hour is claimed to be the only way we can get out of recession, politicians and business leaders have said.

Recession Britain: Government Scientists Now Say 70 Minutes in Hour

LONDON - England - In a bid to increase productivity during the recession, politicians have ordered scientists and mathematicians to find a way of sticking an extra ten minutes onto a 60 minute hour. ... Full story

David Cameron has appointed Sir Philip to lead a review

Sweat Shop Owner Philip Green to Review Government Spending

LONDON - England - Billionaire sweat shop owner, Sir Philip Green, has been appointed by the PM to review government spending. ... Full story

The mosque has been hailed as a welcome addition to the New York skyline

Ground Zero Mosque to be Spectacular Say Americans

NEW YORK - USA - Americans are eagerly awaiting the unveiling of the huge Islamic mosque which is currently being constructed on the site of the demolished twin towers. ... Full story

American taxpayers have footed a rather large bill for this hotel stay

Spanish Hotel Wants Expensive Cutlery Back After Michelle Obama Trip

MARBELLA - Spain - The $4000 per night Hotel Villa Padierna in which Michelle Obama and her entourage stayed for their vacation have asked the first lady to return the cutlery she allegedly took, a hotel spokesman has said. ... Full story

"I just want to sell flowers"

Armed Robber Forces Local Bank to Lend

STOKE-ON-TRENT - England - Susan Benson, 34, was so desperate for a bank loan for her new flower business that she took it upon herself to acquire the loan from her local bank who had refused her a loan earlier, by robbing it. ... Full story

Cloned cows about to be fed at Sunnydale clone cow farm, Cheshire.

Cloned Cows Attack Farm Visitors After Vicious Taunts

CHESHIRE - England - There was mayhem and chaos at a cloned cow farming facility today after cloned cows and bulls attacked a farm hand and visitors after being teased for being cloned cows. ... Full story

The 1000 year Reich never died, it lives on.

The EU: 'More Tax Please You're British'

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The British people will now have to work for over 250 days in the year to make any money for themselves, after it was revealed that the EU wants to tax Britain further. ... Full story

Gazza gets ready with some much needed supplies

Gazza Visits Flood Hit Pakistan

SINDH - Pakistan - Ex-champion footballer Paul Gascoigne has flown out to the devastated areas of Pakistan to bring much needed relief to the thousands of Pakistanis stranded by rising flood waters. ... Full story

Please donate now.

Urgent Appeal for Donations to Save Fergie

WINDSOR - England - The Daily Squib is appealing to our readers to save the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson from bankruptcy. Please donate all you can. ... Full story

Michelle Obama pictured walking on the beach with her entourage and security detail

Spain Closed Down for Michelle Obama Shopping Trip

COSTA DEL SOL - Spain - American taxpayers were footing another massive bill last night after the president's wife, Michelle Obama, flew in to the country on an exclusive shopping trip. ... Full story

"It's all BP's fault."

Obama Blames BP for Slave Trade

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama has added another point of blame on BP by saying they were responsible for the slave trade hundreds of years ago. ... Full story

Not only do the new airport body scanners take risque pictures but according to the U.S. Marshals Service, the images in their thousands are being saved on hard disks.

Body Scanner Operator Caught Masturbating at Colorado Airport

DENVER - USA - A full body scanner operator was caught masturbating during a scanning session by airport staff late Tuesday. ... Full story

Gordon Brown has been praised by the Al Qaeda hierarchy

Brown Voted Best British PM by Al Qaeda

LAHORE - Pakistan - Gordon Brown has been voted the best British Prime Minister since the Second World War by a poll of more than 100 Al Qaeda leaders and operatives. ... Full story

Jacqui Smith has fitted right into the BBC

Jacqui Smith to 'Sex Up' BBC

LONDON - England - Former Soviet mistress of the politburo, Jacqui Smith has secured a top job at the BBC, her agent announced today. ... Full story

"The subject will make great strides when it is taken up by scientists under a scientific dictatorship....The social psychologists of the future will have a number of classes of school children on whom they will try different methods of producing an

Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Once upon a time it used to be quite hard for the government and criminals to get private data from individuals, nowadays the information gleaned from social networking sites is so vast that they have been overwhelmed. ... Full story

Britain's roads have over 96,000 speed cameras which were all introduced in 1997 when the Labour regime came into power.

Motorists Across Britain Flocking to Oxfordshire

OXFORDSHIRE - England - Thousands of British motorists have been flocking to the county after hundreds of speed cameras were switched off last night at midnight. ... Full story

According to reports, the marriage lasted for approximately two and a half minutes before the couple were divorced.

Chelsea Clinton Gets Divorced

NEW YORK - USA - Chelsea Clinton has divorced her newly wedded husband, Marc Lewinsky, after only two and a half minutes of marriage, reports have claimed. ... Full story

Once the police got involved there was even more fury

Fury as Furious Politicians Spit Fury at Furious Voters

LONDON - England - There was fury at a rally in Parliament square yesterday as furious crowds of furious protesters reacted furiously to furious Coalition politicians attending a march that sparked off a lot of fury. ... Full story

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