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Kim Jong-un May Be Too Sane For North Korea Job
PYONGYANG - North Korea - There were serious fears today for the pariah communist state, after it was revealed that Kim Jong Il's successor and son, Kim Jong-un, may actually be sane. ... Full story
Britons Enjoy Paying More Tax Than Ever
LONDON - England - Next year's Tax Freedom Day has been revised with another increase in taxation, a leading Think Tank has revealed. ... Full story
Ice Cream Sales Rocketing Despite Big Freeze
NORTHUMBERLAND - England - You would have thought that ice cream would be the last thing on your mind in minus thirty degree freezing weather but that's where you're wrong. ... Full story
Hugh Hefner Playing Dangerous Game of Pass the Parcel
LOS ANGELES - USA - The 84-year-old Playboy founder is to get married to a 24-year-old playmate he met in 2008. ... Full story
Luck of the Irish Downgraded Again
DUBLIN - Ireland - The phrase 'luck of the Irish' used to mean Irish adversity in difficult circumstances. ... Full story
Cameron's Boss Angry With Cable
LONDON - England - British prime minister, David Cameron, was said to be upset today after a severe telling off from his master about one of the subordinates who seems to have got out of hand. ... Full story
US Allows Heteros to Openly Serve in Navy
WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama signed into law the repeal of the Navy's 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy, thereby allowing straight people to openly serve in the Navy. ... Full story
TSA Names New Airport X-Ray Machines 'Freedom Scanners'
NEW JERSEY - USA - First there were 'Freedom Fries', now there are 'Freedom Scanners', the TSA has announced. ... Full story
Three Wise Men Had Low IQ's Say Biblical Experts
NAZARETH - Israel - Archaeologists and theological researchers have uncovered evidence that proves the three wise men were actually pretty dumb. ... Full story
Mick Jagger: Rolling Stones Might Retire in 2025
LONDON - England - Mick Jagger has told Rolling Stone magazine that the Rolling Stone's might consider retiring in 2025. ... Full story
Sony Introduce New ADD Television
TOKYO - Japan - Sony Corp. has introduced its latest television model onto the scene that now incorporates Attention Deficit Disorder functions on the remote control unit. ... Full story
Tourettes Air Traffic Controller Causes Christmas Chaos at Heathrow
LONDON - England - The icy runways and crowded gates of Heathrow were witness to an even wilder spectacle this Christmas getaway season, when an air traffic controller with a previously undiagnosed case of Tourettes syndrome was briefly put in charge. ... Full story
U.S. Military to Hold Gay Fashion Week
TUCSON - Arizona - Gay Marines are to hold a fashion parade with newly designed uniforms at Fort Peniston for the whole of this week, a gay Marine corps. corporal has disclosed. ... Full story
Wildlife Experts: "Elephants Are Shrinking"
KRUGER NATIONAL PARK - South Africa - Scientists working on multiple sites around the world have discovered that elephants are slowly shrinking in size. ... Full story
Donna D'Errico Featured in 2011 TSA Calendar
LOS ANGELES - USA - Former Baywatch star and Playboy pin-up, Donna D'Errico is to feature in the TSA's 2011 calendar, TSA officials have disclosed. ... Full story
Lawyers Only Ones Visiting Sharm el-Sheikh
SHARM EL-SHEIKH - Egypt - After a spate of vicious shark attacks at the popular holiday resort killing a German woman, and severely maiming many others, the only people who can wade into the shark infested waters now are lawyers. ... Full story
Scatologists Applaud New Spoof Scat Christmas Play
FLORIDA - USA - A controversial holiday Scatalogical music production is set to open at American Stage Theatre in St. Petersburg. ... Full story
Prince Charles and Duchess Attend Performance of 'Children of Men'
LONDON - England - Amongst the burning pyres, violent clashes, flailing bodies and Christmas shoppers braving the freezing conditions, the Royal car containing Charles and Camilla attended a new theatrical adaptation of the apocalyptic film 'Children of Men'. ... Full story
Assange Extradited to U.S. on Espionage Charges For Not Wearing Condom
LONDON - England - In another remarkable twist to the WikiLeaks story, crazed U.S. prosecutors are readying papers for WiliLeaks boss, Julian Assange's extradition because he didn't wear a condom during sex. ... Full story
Sarah Palin's Weak Geography Could be Problem in Nuclear War
WASILLA - USA - Sarah Palin could have a problem in a full scale nuclear war, military experts have told a Senate committee today. ... Full story
Why Releasing Violent Criminals onto UK's Streets Was Planned
LONDON - England - The Justice Secretary, Ken Clarke's U-turn on the Tory election pledge of hard-line tactics on violent crime is now proposing that criminals who commit violent offences like murder and rape should only be briefly imprisoned after their third murder, senior Whitehall officials disclosed. ... Full story
2018 Russian World Cup Mascot Will be Vodka Bottle
MOSCOW - Russia - Vodka manufacturers were today hailing the decision to make the World Cup mascot a walking Vodka bottle. ... Full story
U.S. Government: "WikiLeaks Endangering Lives"
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Pentagon has issued a statement saying that WikiLeaks is 'endangering lives' and has vowed to shut down the free speech site. ... Full story
Brown Hobbits Not Allowed in Middle Earth
THE SHIRE - Middle-earth - Hobbit Equality Minister, Harriet Harpie was today up in arms after some brown Hobbits were refused entry into the Hobbit village. ... Full story
WikiLeaks to Start Plumbing Service
COVENTRY - England - Julian Assange is said to be training to be a plumber, CIA analysts have claimed in a leaked document on Friday. ... Full story
Football Hooligans Angry After England Lose 2018 World Cup Bid
LEEDS - England - There were full scale riots today in many major UK cities after the result for the 2018 World Cup was announced. ... Full story
Woman Pregnant After TSA Pat-Down
FLORIDA - USA - Eighteen year old Carmella Sanchez has been diagnosed pregnant after a sensual TSA pat-down, that some say went a little too far. ... Full story
Ku Klux Klan Expedition to Africa
KENTUCKY - USA - The Ku Klux Klan expedition team are to set sail for Benin, West Africa, next week, Klan leaders have announced. ... Full story
Frozen Pensioner Prays For Global Warming
LONDON - England - An East London man is today praying that global warming happens soon, and is holding a public prayer session in the streets. ... Full story