dailouk

â€œTowards evening the lazy person begins to get busy.â€

Scientific Study Reveals Lazy People Live Longer

STOCKHOLM - Sweden - Researchers working for the Stockholm Institute have released new data showing that inactivity and laziness are the keys to a long life. ... Full story

"I'll 'ave some grapes with my credit facilities please Miss"

Banks to Diversify by Selling Groceries

LONDON - England - Hard hit banks are finding new ways to raise cash in these hard 'credit crunch' times. ... Full story

"The great strength of the totalitarian state is that it forces those who fear it to imitate it" - Dick Cheney, 2004

Comrades Across World Welcome Centralized Economy

NEW YORK - USA - The final bell tolled today for capitalism as a new era was ushered in. ... Full story

Palin is being trained for her VP role at the George Washington University hospital

John McCain's Vice President Sarah Palin Learning the Ropes

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Republican VP hopeful Sarah Palin has been briefed by campaign advisers on what is needed to be John McCain's Vice President. ... Full story

"Who put this thing together? Me, that's who! Who do I trust? Me!"

Amy Winehouse to Star in Female Version of Scarface Movie

MIAMI - USA - Casting directors working for the new Scarface film currently in production are talking with Amy Winehouse's managers and are excited at the prospect of having her in the $45 million adaptation. ... Full story

Gordon Brown Relaunch Big Success

MANCHESTER - England - Gordon Brown's thirtieth political relaunch came off as a huge success this time. The ill fated unelected PM has staked his claim to be the only man to steer Britain through tough economic times saying: "This is no time for a novice." ... Full story

George Michael Builds Public Toilet in North London Home

LONDON - England - Speaking from an exact replica of a Hampstead Heath lavatory in his Highgate mansion, the famous singer is ecstatic about his new home addition. ... Full story

Drink up Children: 200 Women's breasts for baby education in Russia

Russian Annual Breastfeeding Vodka Marathon Underway

MOSCOW - Russia - The annual Russian Breastfeeding Marathon got off to a 'boinking' start today with the participation of nearly 200 Russian mothers and their babies. ... Full story

Ku Klux Klan Protesters Interrupt Obama Event

CORAL GABLES - USA - Barack Obamaâ€™s rally at the University of Miami was briefly interrupted today after a dozen or so protesters began to wave home-made KKK signs. ... Full story

JK Rowling Donates Â£1million to Ministry of Labour's Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge

LONDON - England - Out of touch fantasist and deluded author, JK Rowling, has donated a large sum of money to the Ministry of Nu-Labour headed by unelected taxation master Lord Gordomort. ... Full story

Gordon Brown Endorsed Lehman Bros Days Before Collapse

LONDON - England - Prime Minister Gordon Brown publicly endorsed Lehman Brothers Investment bank and may have then sealed its fate with the gesture. ... Full story

Gordon Brown Unveils New Tax on Smiling

LONDON - England - In addition to the myriad number of taxes introduced by Gordon Brown during his tenure as chancellor and PM, the new tax on smiling is not set to make the government much money. ... Full story

A bag of exceptional quality and vintage

M&S Plastic Bag From 1986 Fetches Â£3,700 at Sotheby's

LONDON - England - It was a historic day for auctioneer Sotheby's on Sunday when they managed to sell a Marks and Spencer plastic bag circa 1986 for a record price to a telephone bidder. ... Full story

The East African flatback humpless camel grazing

Camel With No Hump Discovered

UDZUNGWA - Tanzania - Scientists have discovered a new camel species in the mountains of East Africa. The new mammal, known as the flatback highland humpless (Camelus nonhumpus), was identified by two independent research teams working in separate locations in southern Tanzania. ... Full story