LONDON - England - There should be no bargaining with blackmailers or totalitarian regimes who hold Britain to ransom.
PARIS - France is effectively an open house from the border of Syria to Calais, with little or no border checks, Kalashnikovs, grenade launchers, semtex, drugs, terrorists and illegal migrants are funnelled through the Schengen corridor day and night.
LONDON - England - Supreme Comrade and Soviet Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed to "overturn the rigged system" by putting power and wealth back in the hands of "the people".
MAJOR NEWS BREAKING
PENANG - Malaysia - Expert crash investigators have been flown in from America and have come up with a theory that Malaysian Airliner flight MH370 was secretly a stealth fighter.
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Ready for Take Off
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TOLD YOU SO
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - President Obama wants to use killer drones to make war on climate change.
NEW HAMPSHIRE - USA - George W Bush the Supreme Commander in Chief of the United States is running for a third term in office. He was spotted campaigning amongst the other candidates at the New Hampshire Caucus.
BERLIN - Germany - Chancellor Angela Merkel was used as a conduit to bring forth a new resurgence of the right wing in Germany an expert in clandestine operations believes.
PARIS - France - The Daily Squib has received an exclusive first photograph of one of the armed robbers who tragically stole $43 million worth of jewellery from porn actress Kim Kardashian on Monday.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - President Obama has vowed to complete his tenure as president by taking away America's guns.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The nightmare is nearly over, the 2016 U.S. election will finally be laid to rest today when American voters vote in the first female president of the USA.
NEWS ON THE HOUR
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The sixteenth president of the United States of America, Abraham Lincoln has been discovered to have had a black father according to historians and scientists working for the Institute of Historical Science which is linked to Harvard university.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Scientists at the Institute of Historical Research have finally released their findings after five years of dedicated research.