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September 9th, 2010

The Botox Drink Taking Celebrity World by Storm

LOS ANGELES - USA - Forget about needles in your face, the cosmetic industry has now discovered the perfect solution for the botox generation.

• Police Warn About 'Jenkem' – the New...
• Obama Free Healthcare Begins in 2015
• Obama Wants to Give Free Food to All...

Scientists Reveal How Having Too Many Birthdays Can be Bad...

LOS ALAMOS - USA - Scientists researching birthdays, have come to the conclusion that too many can be fatal to the person receiving them.

Decrease in British Babies Born Drunk Institute Reports

MIDDLESBROUGH - England - New statistics from the British Institute of Medical Natal Research Centre has revealed that the number of babies born in Britain...

NHS Doctors to be Present During Full Body Airport Scans

LONDON - England - Full body scanners at airports to double as medical scans, an NHS spokesman said on Thursday.

The Internal Organ Removal Diet that Can Help You Stay Slim...

LONDON - England - Do you find it impossible to lose weight and keep it off despite your best efforts to diet? Don't worry, help is at hand with the new...

New NHS Ambulances Solve Hospital Beds Problem

LONDON - England - The National Health Service today unveiled its latest solution to overcrowded bedless hospitals in Britain.

Scientists: "Why Eating Food is Dangerous"

LONDON - England - Eating food is bad for your health, scientists from the British Food Institute warn.

White Americans Outraged by Obama's Healthcare Plans

PENNSYLVANIA - USA - President Barack Obama's plans for a nationwide healthcare system akin to the UK's National Health Service has come under intense negative...

Daily Squib Staff to Man...

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib has won a contract for staffers to man the controversial Swine Flu Hotline during the Swine Flu epidemic.

Masturbation Could Boost...

MANCHESTER - England - Being a wanker could make you cleverer in later life and...

Exposed: The Food From...

BERKSHIRE - England - The Fat Duck restaurant at the centre of a massive food...

Valentine's Day Heart...

LOS ANGELES - USA - Californian heart surgeons are set to work overtime this...

John McCain's Vice...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Republican VP hopeful Sarah Palin has been briefed by...

Health

• Russian Annual Breastfeeding Vodka...
• NHS Sending Patients to Serbia for...
• New UK Health Plan Urges People to Die...

Amy Winehouse Inducted into 'Hardcore Rehab' with Israeli...

KIRYAT MALACHI - Israel - In a last ditch effort to get herself cleaned up from her addictions, troubled celebrity Amy Winehouse is reportedly set to attempt...

Paris Hilton to Have STD Named After Her

LOS ANGELES - CA - Norwegian scientists who have discovered a new strain of sexually transmitted disease are to name the virulent chancroid after Paris Hilton.

NHS Unveils New Fleet of Ambulances

LONDON - England - The cash-strapped National Health Service today unveiled its latest solution.

Leslie Ash Gets Big Smile on Her Face

LONDON - England - The actress Leslie Ash had a big smile on her face today after being awarded £5 million of taxpayers money from the NHS.


Health Unfit Britons to Lose NHS Care LONDON - England - Comrade Brown, who as our unelected...	Health Mothers Warned as Number of... LONDON - England - Experts have warned that the number of...	Health Cheap Flights for Thousands - A One-Way... MAGALUF - Majorca - Thousands of British holiday makers are...

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Health

Pregnant Women Denied Alcohol

British women are renowned for being the heaviest...

Health

Pistachios Can Reduce Your Cholesterol

Last week Scientists said pistachios were bad for...

DAILY SQUIB NEWS

• Africans Refusing Clothing From America

• Spaniards to Build Hotels Without Balconies For Brits on Holiday

• Footballer's Wife Forgives Footballer's Wallet After Another Indiscretion

• Tony Blair Could Launch Book Signing in 45 Minutes

• Cost Cutting Ryanair Planes to be Flown On Autopilot

• Glenn Beck Birth Certificate Says He Was Born in Afghanistan

• Hague: "I'm Not Gay But My Boyfriend Is"

• Massive Investigation After England Wins a Cricket Match

• Coventry Chinese Restaurant Employs Cat Napper Mary Bale

• Bush Returns to Arena With Six-Figure Memoir Book Deal

Fair and Balanced News Updates

Could This be the New SuBo?

COVENTRY - England - Britain's Got Talent judges and the British public have been astounded by the latest piece of massive talent to come out of our great...

George Michael Looking Forward to Jail

LONDON - England - Pop singer George Michael has revealed his joy at the prospect of being sent to jail for reckless driving while under the influence of drugs.

Tony Blair Book Bestseller in Iraq

BAGHDAD - Iraq - Former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, made a surprise visit to the war-torn capital city today to attend a much appreciated book signing.

Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly's Death 'Textbook Suicide'

LONDON - England - The untimely death of Iraq weapons expert, David Kelly, was a "textbook case" of suicide, according to the government appointed...

Fury as Furious Politicians Spit Fury at Furious Voters

LONDON - England - There was fury at a rally in Parliament square yesterday as furious crowds of furious protesters reacted furiously to furious Coalition...

Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama is having the White House redecorated to suit his tastes better whilst he and his family enjoy their sixth vacation...

Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Once upon a time it used to be quite hard for the government and criminals to get private data from individuals, nowadays the information...

Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'

NEWCASTLE - England - Universities will be forced to give compulsory courses to all students in unemployment studies says the chief coalition education Tsar,...

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