New Video Ad: Paris Hilton Supports Drilling

August 6th, 2008

by Cuthbert Benson

Paris Hilton at 35

LOS ANGELES - CA - Paris Hilton fights back against the McCain ads with one of her own.

The dumb princess of 'celebuturd' blandness and stupidity has appeared in her own advert denigrating John McCain. Paris(ite) reads her autocue very well during the advert and looks like she understands what she is being told to say.

In the Paris advert, she is seen to denigrate John McCain's age and remark that she herself is "hot". She then reads out a statement about energy policy written by someone else wherein she supports drilling offshore.

"Paris Hilton says she supports drilling. Hell, I bet she does. She has her puss drilled by thousands of guys every year. She has every STD under the sun and her putrefying prolapse makes for ugly viewing. Of course the loose whore is all for drilling, I heard the pope is catholic too!" a McCain supporter remarked whilst being interviewed on CNN.

Paris who has been dogged with genital syphilis and herpes for the past few years, did not show any obvious signs of blistering around her mouth during the filming process. She also did not showcase her size 14 feet for the cameras this time.

"We covered up the open sores around her mouth with makeup and also used CGI retouching techniques to smooth the video images out. I think there are a few frames where you see one of her sores popping but it's only for a millisecond or two," Jenny Mancino, chief makeup artist on set told Fox News on Tuesday.

Paris Hilton is the benefactor of the Hollywood Gonorrhea Syphilis Herpes STD Foundation based in Beverly Hills and regularly conducts fundraising events in local massage parlours in Hollywood.

Her video which cost a cool $345,000 to make and was funded by her mother Kathy Hilton has been an internet hit.

"McCain has made a big mistake by screwing with the Hiltons. The Paris Hilton family are now going to spend alot of money making stupid ads and releasing them to the public. Does he have no shame for what he has done to us? Does he have no idea of the avalanche of ignorant brainless celebuturd shit he has unleashed that will come from the heinous clan of Hiltons?" a distraught Los Angeles resident, Miles Redrum, 34, has remarked.

"The stupid ignorant insular world of the uneducated moron that is Paris is one of vacuity and self-indulgent shallow vanity with no redeeming features whatsoever. Her putrid materialistic life is a waste of time and space. Her horrid existence fuelled by greed and waste is an afront to any form of chrestomathic knowledge. Paris is a pustulating boil on the arse of humanity, a stain on the toilet tissue of culture, a mediocre brain fart in the 'anals' of history. She is a shameful blight on the Hilton name," Barron Hilton, 80, Paris' grandfather who cut her from his fortune remarked on Tuesday.

One can only hope that the world is spared her rotten maladorous futility and she does us all a favour and drives her Bentley under a truck one day whilst swigging from a bottle of cheap champagne.

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