Stephen Fry Fans Close to Suicide After Twitter Goes Down for Six Hours

August 7th, 2009

by Treblinka Connors

Stephen Fry's Twitter page lives on for another day..

LONDON - England - There was mass panic on the internet yesterday, especially amongst fans of the celebrity, Stephen Fry, when social networking site Twitter was offline for up to six hours after a hacking attack.

During the terrible moment when Twitter was offline, there was mass panic around the worldwide web as the inane witty twitterings of Stephen Fry were curtailed for more than six hours.

"I was distraught and even considered jumping off my apartment building's roof. There were no more witty descriptions of Stephen making toast and tea, or embarking on another of his walks to the library, or his wonderful ramblings about what i-phone app is the best. When Twitter came back after six hours of my life that felt like an eternity, I cried with relief, it was like someone reattached the oxygen to my imaginary mask," Jeremy Corbett, 34, from Norwich told the BBC.

Another Stephen Fry fan told of his harrowing experience: "I was just about to refresh Stephen Fry's Twitter page for the ten thousandth time that day when I got the spinning wheel of death on my mac, that's when I knew something serious was up. I tried three or four more times but still nothing. I even tried to reboot but still nothing. This went on for a few hours until I actually contemplated going to my medicine cabinet and popping some pills thus ending it all. As I was about to go, I refreshed once more and there was a flicker on the screen. I've never cried like that ever before."

Experts believe that the Denial of Service attack that brought Twitter down for six hours was possibly perpetrated by one of the only sane people left on the planet.

Add your comment

Name:

Email: (Your email address will not be published)

Subject:

Comment:

Daily Squib on Facebook

DAILY SQUIB NEWS

• Glenn Beck Birth Certificate Says He Was Born in Afghanistan

• Hague: "I'm Not Gay But My Boyfriend Is"

• Massive Investigation After England Wins Cricket Match

• Coventry Chinese Restaurant Employs Cat Napper Mary Bale

• Bush Returns to Arena With Six-Figure Memoir Book Deal

• Could This be the New SuBo?

• George Michael Looking Forward to Jail

• Tony Blair Book Bestseller in Iraq

• Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly's Death 'Textbook Suicide'

• Fury as Furious Politicians Spit Fury at Furious Voters

Fair and Balanced News Updates

Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama is having the White House redecorated to suit his tastes better whilst he and his family enjoy their sixth vacation...

Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Once upon a time it used to be quite hard for the government and criminals to get private data from individuals, nowadays the information...

Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'

NEWCASTLE - England - Universities will be forced to give compulsory courses to all students in unemployment studies says the chief coalition education Tsar,...

It Beggars Belief: How the Fake Politicians are Raking in More Than £200,000 a Year

WESTMINSTER - England - Their apparently pitiful existence and pleas for money attract the generosity of many taxpayers. But some politicians are making the...

Recession Britain: Government Scientists Now Say 70 Minutes in Hour

LONDON - England - In a bid to increase productivity during the recession, politicians have ordered scientists and mathematicians to find a way of sticking an...

Spanish Hotel Wants Expensive Cutlery Back After Michelle Obama Trip

MARBELLA - Spain - The $4000 per night Hotel Villa Padierna in which Michelle Obama and her entourage stayed for their vacation have asked the first lady to...

Sweat Shop Owner Philip Green to Review Government Spending

LONDON - England - Billionaire sweat shop owner, Sir Philip Green, has been appointed by the PM to review government spending.

Ground Zero Mosque to be Spectacular Say Americans

NEW YORK - USA - Americans are eagerly awaiting the unveiling of the huge Islamic mosque which is currently being constructed on the site of the demolished...

Lord Gnome - b3ta.com

News makes great conversation 
as it involves us all, if you 
enjoy playing bingo you can 
share news there too.

5 Reasons to Trade Forex Instead of Stocks

Contact the Daily Squib advertising team

SEARCH: