LONDON - England - The UK and correct Brexit, is in immediate danger if Labour makes ground.
LONDON - England - British Prime Minister, Theresa May, has called for an early General Election in June.
MAJOR NEWS BREAKING
MOSCOW - Russia - Vodka manufacturers were today hailing the decision to make the World Cup mascot a walking Vodka bottle.
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Ready for Take Off
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TOLD YOU SO
ESSEX - England - Ex X-Factor judge Tulisa Contostavrosopoulos is to perform one of her usual tricks on a judge for her new court case so she can get off a drugs rap, she has told the Sun newspaper.
NEW YORK - USA - Hey we've got an idea, get some loudmouth rich opinionated ignoramus to become president of the United States, or how about this, get the chump to spend his money on trying to become U.S. president and laugh at him when he falls flat on his face.
FOLKESTONE - England - Remain campaigner, Eddie Izzard has been told to shut up. Let us hope he does, for good.
GLASGOW - Scotland - The Economist's March issue has been comprehensively sold out in Scotland, the publisher has revealed.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Emergency services were today called out to Henry's Deli in Beverly Hills after actor Charlie Sheen tried to snort a man's dandruff from his head.
LONDON - England - Size Zero model Anna Schwarz is commissioned by Channel 4 to complete a series of extreme weight-loss methods. How will she manage over the next eight weeks?
NEWS ON THE HOUR
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The sixteenth president of the United States of America, Abraham Lincoln has been discovered to have had a black father according to historians and scientists working for the Institute of Historical Science which is linked to Harvard university.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Scientists at the Institute of Historical Research have finally released their findings after five years of dedicated research.