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September 9th, 2010

Sweat Shop Owner Philip Green to Review Government Spending

LONDON - England - Billionaire sweat shop owner, Sir Philip Green, has been appointed by the PM to review government spending.

• Compensation Lawyers Clean Up $20...
• Daily Squib Briefly Loses 'AAAA' Rating...
• Another Pump and Dump Day at the Markets

Britain's CGT Mass Exodus Marathon Starts Soon

LONDON - England - Investors and savers in the UK began the country's mass exodus today after the Con-Dem partnership announced another magnificently useless...

Banker Screams Like Little Girl After Being Spooked

MADRID - Spain - One of Spain's largest banking institutions, Satsuma Banking Corp. was at the centre of a massive eurozone sell-off spree after another one of...

One Trillion Euros Now Worth About Thirty Bucks

ATHENS - Greece - Think of the Europeans. Now they have to carry around their currency in suitcases. The euro is now so devalued thanks to the euro debt crisis...

Germany Bans Naked Shorts

BERLIN - Germany - The ban on speculative short-wearing on sunny days hit short-wearers across the board on Wednesday, with the summer clothes market plunging...

Carol Vorderman Wants Greece to Consolidate Loans

NORWICH - England - Now that Greece's bonds are valued at junk status, daytime TV loan seller Carol Vorderman has spectacularly stepped in to save the failing...

SEC Officials Honoured by Internet Porn Industry

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Highly paid officials from the Securities and Exchange Commission are to be honoured at the 21st Internet Porn Awards held next month for...

Gordon Brown Wants to Buy Gold

LONDON - England - Gordon Brown plans on buying back Britain's gold reserves, the Chancellor of the Exchequer has claimed.

UK Economy Hung Drawn and...

LONDON - England - Traders are getting ready to pull the trigger on the Pound when the general election is held in May, leading analysts say.

Mass City UK Exodus...

LONDON - England - Get ready for the marathon of the decade when thousands of...

Credit Crunch II Coming...

DUBAI - United Arab Emirates - It is set to be this year's major blockbuster...

Banks Now Require...

LONDON - England - Applicants for a home loan will have to beg at the feet of...

Bank Executives Get Away...

LONDON - England - Taxpayers in Britain are once again set to foot another...

Business

• Monopoly Money Beats Weak British Pound...
• Getting Ready For 50pc Tax Mass City...
• Are Bankruptcies the New ASBOs?

Bank of England to Give Everyone £10,000

LONDON - England - Mervyn King, the Bank of England's chairman, announced today, that he will give everyone in England and Wales £10,000 cash so as to kick...

Quantitative Easing Threatens Brazilian Rainforest

LONDON - England - The Bank of England is set to begin "printing money" in a bid to boost the failing economy after its rate-setting committee...

Halifax Lloyds: No Need to Panic But Start Queueing For...

LONDON - England - There's no need to PANIC but you better think about the situation here. HBOS? Lloyds TSB? You're not guaranteed your money back. Is this...

Woolworths Consigned to the Bargain Bucket of Recession...

LONDON - England - Britain's shoplifters are in mourning today at the loss of a well loved British High Street institution.


Business Daily Squib Hedge Fund Not Taking... NEW YORK - USA - The Daily Squib Hedge Fund has had to turn...	Business Fed Cuts Rate to 'Minus 1.5' NEW YORK - USA - US interest rates were cut to a historic...	Business He's Madoff With My Money NEW YORK - USA - Wealthy socialites in New York and Florida...

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Business

£500 Billion to Buy Humungous Amount of...

LONDON - England - Taxpayers in Britain are going...

Business

Daily Squib Bank Account Guarantees All...

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib Media Empire...

Business

Banks to Diversify by Selling Groceries

LONDON - England - Hard hit banks are finding new...

Business

Don't Worry Folks - US Federal Reserve...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The US Federal Mint was...

Business

Annoying CNUT Finally Off the Air

LONDON - England - At least one good thing has...

Business

Exclusive First Pictures of...

LOS ANGELES - CA - The Daily Squib newspaper has...

Business

Nielsen Names 'Daily Squib' Most...

OBERSALZBERG MOUNTAIN - Germany - There were...

Business

Stockbroker Sees Ghost at NYSE

NEW YORK - USA - Jim Buller, 35, claimed to see...

Business

Monopoly Game Money Beats Weak US Dollar

WASHINGTON DC - The worldwide standard currency,...

Business

Sex Pistols Corporate Financial...

LOS ANGELES - CA - John Lydon AKA Johnny Rotten...

Business

Northern Rock to be Renamed Northern...

NEWCASTLE - England - Adam Applegarth, the Chief...

Business

Philip Green Looks into Improving Slave...

ONE of Britain’s richest men who is profiting...

Business

Dow Jones Head Rubbing Lice Epidemic

NEW YORK - Wall Street was inundated by a mass of...

Business

Smiling Banker Says Economy Fu**ed

LONDON, England — The economy is officially...

Business

Real Estate Boom in Baghdad

IRAQ - Rosco Bonds is a man on a mission with a...

DAILY SQUIB NEWS

• Africans Refusing Clothing From America

• Spaniards to Build Hotels Without Balconies For Brits on Holiday

• Footballer's Wife Forgives Footballer's Wallet After Another Indiscretion

• Tony Blair Could Launch Book Signing in 45 Minutes

• Cost Cutting Ryanair Planes to be Flown On Autopilot

• Glenn Beck Birth Certificate Says He Was Born in Afghanistan

• Hague: "I'm Not Gay But My Boyfriend Is"

• Massive Investigation After England Wins a Cricket Match

• Coventry Chinese Restaurant Employs Cat Napper Mary Bale

• Bush Returns to Arena With Six-Figure Memoir Book Deal

Fair and Balanced News Updates

Could This be the New SuBo?

COVENTRY - England - Britain's Got Talent judges and the British public have been astounded by the latest piece of massive talent to come out of our great...

George Michael Looking Forward to Jail

LONDON - England - Pop singer George Michael has revealed his joy at the prospect of being sent to jail for reckless driving while under the influence of drugs.

Tony Blair Book Bestseller in Iraq

BAGHDAD - Iraq - Former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, made a surprise visit to the war-torn capital city today to attend a much appreciated book signing.

Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly's Death 'Textbook Suicide'

LONDON - England - The untimely death of Iraq weapons expert, David Kelly, was a "textbook case" of suicide, according to the government appointed...

Fury as Furious Politicians Spit Fury at Furious Voters

LONDON - England - There was fury at a rally in Parliament square yesterday as furious crowds of furious protesters reacted furiously to furious Coalition...

Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama is having the White House redecorated to suit his tastes better whilst he and his family enjoy their sixth vacation...

Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Once upon a time it used to be quite hard for the government and criminals to get private data from individuals, nowadays the information...

Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'

NEWCASTLE - England - Universities will be forced to give compulsory courses to all students in unemployment studies says the chief coalition education Tsar,...

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