Young Model Endangers French President's Ticker

July 27th, 2009

by Jean Claude Coronary

French president Nicolas Sarkozy on holiday with his new wife Carla Bruni

PARIS - France - It looks like it's 'No More Bonko for Sarko' as French president Nicolas Sarkozy has been found to have serious problems with his heart after collapsing during a run.

Sarkozy, 54, is an endangered man say doctors who are urging the president to take it easy from now on.

The French president collapsed at Versailles over the weekend after trying to stay fit so that he could service his young wife nightly.

"It's going to be hard but with a wife like Carla he is one erection away from certain death. We have to get him off the viagra and raw egg diet he is on as well, he says it is for his stamina but it is not good for his heart. If I had her walking around naked I'd have a heart problem too, the blood rushes away from the heart too much. Ooh la la!" Professor Pierre Gitanes, who is looking after the Sarkozy case told Le Monde.

"No Mo' Bonko for Sarko"

Carla Bruni has been ordered to stay away for a few days so that the ailing president can recuperate.

"Carla is a danger to the little man with a Napoleon complex. In fact she is an even more severe threat to the president than Islamic terrorism. She has a lithe sensual body, and her pert milky white breasts point upwards, and I have heard she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose, Mick Jagger told me, she is that good. Oh I have to...ooh just the thought makes me...excuse moi, I have to leave right now!" a senior aide to the president remarked before rushing off to the toilet.

France is in danger, all it takes is blood rushing to Sarkozy's tiny organ and then they could be out of a leader. The president's advisers are even considering making Carla wear a Burqa at all times so that Sarkozy survives the constant onslaught of sex coming from his hot vixen wife.

"It's like a ticking timebomb. For the sake of France we are urging the president not to get a stiffy. Mon dieu! It would be a disaster for the country, his new wife, she is so...agreeable pour les yeux...Sacre bleu, whenever I see pictures of her naked flesh I imagine her writhing under the sheets, I would even leave the lights on with her for sure...Ooh la la!" Eugène de Beauharnais, the French Foreign Minister told Le Monde.

_____________

All women say size doesn't matter.

But you never see a three inch dildo, do you?

Tambien 16-10-2009

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