SEARCH:
  Site  

Home Page > World         AddThis Social Bookmark Button                               

Michael Jackson is Dead!

June 25th, 2009
by Nomo Kuhmbak
4.5 / 5 (33 Votes)


One hit too many!
LOS ANGELES - USA - Michael Jackson has died from a cardiac arrest according to insiders from UCLA hospital.


Breaking!

Michael Jackson has died at UCLA hospital.
Looks like there will not be any comeback for Michael Jackson.

"I don't know how I'm going to do 50 shows," ... "I'm not a big eater - I need to put some weight on"

An industry source said: "It came suddenly, he was pushed into these concerts by these greedy promoters, he was fragile, he was on the edge and he had altered his appearance to such a level that his body gave up on him eventually. He was abused from childhood and may have manifested in abuse in others. He passed away three weeks from the biggest comeback that he never wanted or was capable of doing. Who the hell thought he could even do one concert let alone fifty?"

The ailing star was addicted to Demerol, which has opiate qualities. He died soon after taking a huge dosage that stopped his heart.


pixieelf - b3ta


Promoters for the O2 concerts and Jackson's assorted hangers-on, publishers as well as his record company hoods were said to be inconsolable
today as they realised that Jackson was worth more in death than in life.

Record company bosses and publishing houses all brought out statements and tributes to the fallen star whilst getting ready for the deluge of record sales that will now follow.

Adolf Schmidt-Himmler, CEO, Pony Music Entertainment, said: "We are sad to see the passing of this great artist. We all know what happens to record sales when an artist dies, especially this one, it's like the sales chart goes up like a goddamn mountain face, we're talkin' Everest here. This is when we start bringing out those secret songs which we've been holding in the vault for so long. The sales projections for MJ will be so big that tears have just come to my eyes. I'm crying like a little baby. Rest in peace Michael."

Related Articles:

More Chance of Getting Amy Winehouse to Perform at O2 Than Michael Jackson
Exclusive Footage of Winehouse Rehearsing in St Lucia
 

_____________

J TURNER IF YOU CAN STILL CONTACT UR SELLER ON EBAY THEN ASK FOR A REFUND, IF NOT TRY EMAIL EBAY BUT NOT LOOK GOOD.

AEG HAVE SAID IN 6 MONTHS THEY WILL TELL PPL IF THEY GET A REFUND SO LONG WAIT IF U BOUGHT FROM THEM

LASTMINUTE.COM SAY THEY WILL NOT REFUND


Darren 29-06-2009
_____________

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, in their own different ways, helped young boys masturbate for years!

Fandango 28-06-2009
_____________

I can imagine what he did to the little boys,(sick) but I read that he had a pet monkey Bubbles I can only imagine what he did with the monkey...(disgusting).

Charlie 27-06-2009
_____________

R.I.P. MJ... you touched a generation....

Tom 27-06-2009
_____________

Jacko never recovered after Uri Geller ruined his life by introducing him to Bashir.

That interview where Jacko admitted that he slept with young boys tarnished his rep.

If only Uri had never introduced Bashir, Michael would be here now..probably still sleeping with young boys thouh


Changeling 26-06-2009
_____________

I bought a ticket on ebay for £4,500. I am really upset. How can I get an refund? It was from an independent seller. Ebay are not even answering and neither is the seller!!!!

Whyyy?!?!?!?!?!?


J Turner 26-06-2009
_____________

Ive heard Famous Grouse are making a special whiskey to commemorate Jackos life. That way he can still come in tots.

Also all the jockeys at tomorrows race meetings will be wearing black armbands in his memory, because hes ridden more 3 year olds than anyone in living memory.

Whats the last thing Jacko said?...oooawww...

And reports that he died of a heart attack are wrong, he was found in a childrens ward having a stroke.


Andy Rake 26-06-2009
_____________

Was he related to Jesse Jackson? I have noticed a similarity...

Sandy McManus 26-06-2009
_____________

Update - Those who bought tickets are to have their tickets exchanged for what is now the world's most awesome entertainment star. Yes folks, Amy Giveusa Linehouse is to stand-in for the fifty Wacko shows.
Whinehouse will be supported by The Jackson Four


Seal Clubber 26-06-2009
_____________

It's ok to be a pedo if your a celebrity, that's the message the tributes are giving..He made great music but he also molested children if he was a nobody average joe he would be arrested and put in jail instead MJ got away with it karma finally got him tho

sam phoenix 26-06-2009
_____________

Let us join in deep commiseration for the executives of O2 who will not be able to hand out freebies to those whom they wish to arse-lick
For those who invested in Wacko, 'friend of the chimps', tickets HA HA


Seal Clubber 26-06-2009
_____________

At least all the eleven year olds can sleep well

So what if he's dead??

Nothing produced for a decade, nothing of note since the bleaching: rubbish!!

If someone is not happy with their appearance there are other things to do than bleach it away!!!

Hope him and Dodi and Diana are laughing at the world from their secluded island; if he is dead I hope Saddam Hussien is violating him like a 12 year old...

Katie Price you're next...


Brighton Essex Boy 26-06-2009
_____________

I'm not surprised in the least. In fact I have to congratulate him for surviving so long with his lifestyle.

Roger K 26-06-2009
_____________

THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD THIS AINT HAPPENING THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD IF MICHAEL GOES WE ALL GO !!!NNOOO GOD HELP US NOOOO!!! SOMEONE TELL ME THIS AINT HAPPENING SOMEONE TEL ME THIS AINT TRUE NOOOO MICHAEL IS ALIVE!!! ALL YAOU HATERS GO TO HELL MICHAEL IS ALIVE AND THIS IS BS MAN LOW REPORTING THIS IS BAD VERY BAD MICHAEL IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAMINI 26-06-2009
_____________

I never know whether to take what the Daily Squib writes seriously but...

I guess Michael Jackson really is HIStory now...

R.I.P


Herb 26-06-2009
_____________

Even though he molested kids he could sing pretty good...

Gary 25-06-2009
_____________

THIS IS VERY SAD DAY TODAY! RIP MICHAEL YOU WILL LIVE FOR EVER!

Laura 25-06-2009
_____________

he was a freak but he could dance and shit...real sad..i been glued to the tv since he got sent to ucla. there was no pulse, he died at home....this shit is so sad im crying so much please god tell me hes still alive?????

andy hutton 25-06-2009
_____________

RIP MJ YOU WERE THE BEST!!!!

T7 HAN 25-06-2009
_____________

RIP Michael we loved you!!!! I am so sad!!!

Annie 25-06-2009
_____________

Big fucking news...

Toni 25-06-2009
Add your comment
Name:
Email: (Your email address will not be published)
Subject:
Comment:






Daily Squib on Facebook



AddThis Social Bookmark Button

  DAILY SQUIB NEWS

  Fair and Balanced News Updates
Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama is having the White House redecorated to suit his tastes better whilst he and his family enjoy their sixth vacation...

Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments Why Social Networking Has Been Best Tool for Criminals and Governments

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Once upon a time it used to be quite hard for the government and criminals to get private data from individuals, nowadays the information...

Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies' Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'

NEWCASTLE - England - Universities will be forced to give compulsory courses to all students in unemployment studies says the chief coalition education Tsar,...

It Beggars Belief: How the Fake Politicians are Raking in More Than £200,000 a Year It Beggars Belief: How the Fake Politicians are Raking in More Than £200,000 a Year

WESTMINSTER - England - Their apparently pitiful existence and pleas for money attract the generosity of many taxpayers. But some politicians are making the...




Recession Britain: Government Scientists Now Say 70 Minutes in Hour Recession Britain: Government Scientists Now Say 70 Minutes in Hour

LONDON - England - In a bid to increase productivity during the recession, politicians have ordered scientists and mathematicians to find a way of sticking an...

Spanish Hotel Wants Expensive Cutlery Back After Michelle Obama Trip Spanish Hotel Wants Expensive Cutlery Back After Michelle Obama Trip

MARBELLA - Spain - The $4000 per night Hotel Villa Padierna in which Michelle Obama and her entourage stayed for their vacation have asked the first lady to...

Sweat Shop Owner Philip Green to Review Government Spending Sweat Shop Owner Philip Green to Review Government Spending

LONDON - England - Billionaire sweat shop owner, Sir Philip Green, has been appointed by the PM to review government spending.

Ground Zero Mosque to be Spectacular Say Americans Ground Zero Mosque to be Spectacular Say Americans

NEW YORK - USA - Americans are eagerly awaiting the unveiling of the huge Islamic mosque which is currently being constructed on the site of the demolished...






Lord Gnome - b3ta.com

News makes great conversation 
as it involves us all, if you
enjoy playing bingo you can
share news there too.

5 Reasons to Trade Forex Instead of Stocks



Contact the Daily Squib advertising team

 SEARCH:
  Site  
 
dailysquib.co.uk: Help | Contact Us | About Us | Advertise With Us | Site Index | Site Map | Make us your homepage | RSS | Merchandise
© Copyright 2005 dailysquib.co.uk | User Agreement and Privacy Policy | Rights and Permissions

The Daily Squib is a curious satirical publication and should therefore be taken fu**ing seriously ;)


Powered by: PHPCow.com