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GOP to Change Elephant MascotJune 25th, 2009
by Billy the Adult
 Thomas Nast must be rolling in his grave |
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WASHINGTON DC - USA - Sarah Palin's election team in Capital Hill are gearing up for the 2012 elections and are petitioning GOP headquarters to change the elephant mascot to that of a much friendlier, and familiar image.
GOP Headquarters was buzzing all of yesterday because Sarah Palin was in town from Alaska to spearhead the new image re-think that is so desperately needed and will revolutionise the Republican party forever.
"We're going to change our mascot. It is time for a re-branding session and I've been speaking to our GOP representatives and telling them that we need to change the animal from an elephant to a moose. Someone even suggested a dead moose, like its legs akimbo in the air. I think that will symbolise our great party right there. After eight years of Dubya rule, that's what we got. I shoot moose all day here in Wasilla and we eat moose meat all the time. My family lives and breathes moose, so we need to get more moose mascots. They make a great soup, you just drop that moose meat right in the pot and you got yourself a hot broth for those cold dark winter nights. If you walk into our dining room you will see about thirty moose heads on the wall. We even named the suckers, each and every one of those moose on the wall has a name. My favourite is Obongo, yep, and then there's John Mack who was a really old one I shot last winter, and then we got Letterman as well, oh, that's not a moose I forgot, it's the actual head of David Letterman right there on the wall. All GOPers are welcome to come up to Alaska and we'll put you up for a night or two, but if you're a male we have to warn you. There will be no sneaking into our daughters rooms. Well, there you go, we should change the mascot to a moose and that folks is my daily moose rant of which there are many. I've even fashioned a Prada coat from a moose pelt so they're useful for everything. We don't have elephants in America, they only have them in the country of Africa, at least that is what I learned in school..so let's stick with the good ol' North American moose folks. We got shitloads of those, that is, until it's hunting season."
 The new Republican mascot is said to more accurately sum up the party
Mrs Palin has already commissioned a top advertising agency from Chicago to redesign the logo for the Republican party.
The new mascot will be officially unveiled next week and will also include a campaign planning session for the upcoming 2012 elections when Sarah Palin will run for US presidency. |
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